Pappa wants mamma naked
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
