When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
