You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
