I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
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