You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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