Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
