Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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