was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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