Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
