I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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