so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Couch. On fire.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
