I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
