is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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