I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
