do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
