hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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