wat bout pragnant strippers??
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
