how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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