Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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