Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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