Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
We're too hungover to prance.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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