I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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