planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
