that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My penis needs a shock collar
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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