so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
