she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
