As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Randomize