she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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