Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
