Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
