She announced her abortion via fbk
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
