i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
whose ass print is on the piano?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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