I forgot how hot balto sounded
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
