dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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