I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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