i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
we should paint friendship bongs
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