Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
