Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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