Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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