Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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