she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
