Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
