How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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