Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You need a sexual gate keeper
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
