eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
