I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It's shark week go big or go home
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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