Say something about gay babies.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
