Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
