It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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