i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
