i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
