whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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