I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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