I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
