How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
