Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I am in shape. i keep telling you that.

(1-313): View more from Michigan

Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."

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(313): I am in shape. i keep telling you that. (1-313): Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape." http://tfl.nu/2t6h

Replies (28) Good night (927) Bad night (3564)
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(847): View more from Illinois

3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.

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(847): 3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world. http://tfl.nu/xg24

Replies (21) Good night (3643) Bad night (509)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.

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(630): I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted. http://tfl.nu/87dj

Replies (84) Good night (7999) Bad night (1466)
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(831): View more from California

No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick

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(831): No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick http://tfl.nu/r1nb

Replies (37) Good night (1556) Bad night (7854)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face

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(847): I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face http://tfl.nu/ydcz

Replies (13) Good night (4308) Bad night (796)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.

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(715): Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time. http://tfl.nu/f7ph

Replies (8) Good night (2157) Bad night (870)
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(708): View more from Illinois

Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.

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(708): Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover. http://tfl.nu/rh7v

Replies (2) Good night (1332) Bad night (1301)
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(313): View more from Michigan

No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.

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(313): No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea. http://tfl.nu/zdpv

Replies (9) Good night (751) Bad night (1330)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table

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(603): therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table http://tfl.nu/r83g

Replies (3) Good night (1513) Bad night (1228)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward

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(908): he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward http://tfl.nu/i7kv

Replies (4) Good night (1465) Bad night (657)
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(937): View more from Ohio

No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.

(502): View more from Kentucky

And if not?

(937): View more from Ohio

...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?

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(937): No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship. (502): And if not? (937): ...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you? http://tfl.nu/fwg8

Replies (4) Good night (1816) Bad night (482)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.

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(608): Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation. http://tfl.nu/o18n

Replies (6) Good night (906) Bad night (305)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame

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(303): Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame http://tfl.nu/4ytk

Replies (1) Good night (675) Bad night (331)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.

(561): View more from Florida

Your mother would be so proud

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(843): I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom. (561): Your mother would be so proud http://tfl.nu/t9pg

Replies (6) Good night (851) Bad night (304)
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(719): View more from Colorado

I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised

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(719): I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised http://tfl.nu/0hc3

Replies (2) Good night (723) Bad night (304)

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