Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?