can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
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