Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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