...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
