Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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