No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
