i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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