i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
